Money Mindset: Toxic Money

Toxic money is when money is owed to you in some shape or form. In some cases, you feel like you were cheated out of the money, or it is something that you rely on but you have to pay a price for receiving that type of money. So even when you finally get the money it usually feels like there's some kind of a battle around it as well, because it hasn't been received in a good way, or in some cases you don't receive it at all. Toxic money doesn't apply to everyone, however, if you do feel this concept applies to you, pay close attention because it can hold you back in all the other types of relationships with money.

Here are some patterns of toxic money :  

• Being Owed Money
  This could apply to a lot of people for example when someone lends money to a friend or a family member. Being owed money is not the problem, but the emotions that come around it, are. Suppose that someone owes you something and they haven't paid it back after a long time, every time you see them you're reminded of it. By then it's gotten to the point where you don't even feel like you can ask about it anymore and they stop mentioning it as well. As a result, it leads to a conflict and a battle around the money you're owed, but nobody's talking about it. It’ll stew over inside you and that’s really not healthy at all.
  
  
• Relying On Compensation
  Sometimes people get sick or they can't work due to quite serious injuries. They find themselves in a situation where they're relying on this compensation and in some cases it goes on for a really long time. So what might have started out as maybe a few weeks of sickness can carry on into months, and sometimes into years.
  
  They become wrapped up in this cycle where they form a dependency on this money. They start to refuse to get better because they're so heavily dependent on this “free money” that's coming in. Some others will even keep themselves rather sick or injured and genuinely believe that they're in that state, or even go as far as to put on the act of being sick as well. The fact that the money's coming in and the person feels like they can't let go of it, is what is most damaging. Professionals that have worked in a worker's compensation industry have shared with me that a big part of their responsibilities is trying to actively get people back into the workforce because workers can get so reliant on this money that they don't want to go back to work. It’s vital to break out of that toxic cycle.
  
  
• Relying On Child Support
  Another example that's similar to the previous one is relying on child support. A lot of people, especially women, can be in this situation. Of course, this is not the case if you have a great relationship with your ex-spouse and you've got a child support arrangement in place. Women, in particular, that may have left the workforce, find it quite hard to get back in, and can become heavily reliant on this child support to even cover basic expenses. The problem with this is that they’ve got to stay in contact with someone whom perhaps they had quite a damaging relationship with. In order to switch this into a healthy situation, it would be better not to rely on this money. 

• Relying On A Partner’s Income
  Sometimes people who are in a relationship that's really negative and in some cases abusive, will stay in a bad relationship to basically fund their lifestyle. And it doesn’t even mean that in a materialistic way, just in a sense that people might have panic about the idea that if they leave the relationship, they will have to find a place and be out on their own. That's really daunting and scary so there are some very genuine fears and practical realities about exiting a relationship. In some cases, they will put up with a lot of negativity and abuse because they're heavily reliant on the funding that's coming in from their partner. 

• Court Battles
  It’s unfortunately common to think about court battles when we refer to inheritance cases. Sometimes siblings take each other to court because they've got different views on how much their parents should have left them. The whole process involves money issues and what people believe is fair or unfair. However, one of the real prices that people pay in going through these court battles is really the emotional price. That is to say: the stress. Anytime the word “court” is mentioned, we think about emotional stress or financial stress because of the legal fees. It really weighs people down.  

If you receive any of those kinds of money, and especially if you need the money because it's a form of survival for you, and you’ve become dependent on that to cover basic expenses, you'll want to start bringing more awareness to the situation.

You'll know if toxic money is impacting your life negatively because as you’re reading this, you’re probably feeling negative emotions, pain or anxiety. That's what's toxic about it and that's what we want to clear.

Common Themes Around Toxic Money

People who rely on money for basic necessities start to find themselves unable to earn any other kind of money. The unhealthiness associated with the toxic money prevents people from being able to really tap into their greatness and their creativity, and going out and doing the things that they want to do, because they're weighed down by something that they're so heavily dependent on. Moreover, just by thinking about the other person involved in the situation, this might bring up anxiety, fear or anger. In most cases, the toxic element is strong anger, and we all know how unhealthy anger is when it consumes us.

What Does That Say About You?

Toxic money may actually start to affect your self-esteem as well, especially if you're reliant on it and you're feeling like you can't go out to find a job and make your own money. Your own self-confidence and your sense of self-worth will be damaged.

How To Break Out Of This Cycle

• Release the attachment to that money, to be able to ultimately walk away from it.
• Become more aware of how you feel about it and what price you are paying for it.  
• Take small steps to break away from that dependency on the money.
• Start bringing in some small amounts of income
• Begin a side project that can start to free you from that money and can also give you some confidence around your own abilities to earn your own money.

By continuing to receive toxic money, you end up imposing self-limiting circumstances upon yourself that will keep you stuck there for a really long time. If you are experiencing that, then start taking some practical steps to break yourself out of the toxic money cycle.
 

To your success,

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